Walking to work today brought last night to mind. We sat and watched a program called "Derren Brown - Miracle". I was a magic show but based on debunking the idea of evangelists. I am all for whatever makes your life better so if you believe in Miracles and believe that they stem from God, all the power to you. "All the power to you..." that phrase is where I am headed with this post today.
I remember my grandmother hugging me on a day that just seemed to be out to get me. I was weeping into her bosom and trying to find my way out of this sadness I was once again feeling. She hugged me close and said "You are a miracle! It never seems to matter how many times they knock you down or how deep the hole, you always get back up and wipe yourself off and keep on going." I am not sure if she really felt that way or if she hoped to plant the seeds that would indeed keep me going but either way, it was one of my first redefining moments in my life that I can pinpoint to a time when I consciously became aware that I was the only one that could hurt me or change me.
Every day you have the ability to redefine who you are and who you want to be. YOU are the only one holding you back from anything you want! I try to redefine myself at least a few times a day. That might sound funny to you but, hey, I am not perfect. I can find even the smallest thing that I want to alter in me and I make a point to notice it and pay attention to it and then FIX it. I am not one to be held back by anyone... and I am still not sure if I was always like this or if that day with my grandma planted the seed that made me the fighter that I am! I also don't care where it stated, I just know I will never let it stop!
I have redefined myself so many times and each time I get more and more powerful! I am like a super hero when it comes to growth and I am a MIRACLE! There is no one else in the world like me! I am unique and no matter what I am going through or what I look like I try to remind myself of this regularly! YOU are a MIRACLE too! There is only one YOU. It took both your parents and their DNA and that special moment to create you. That is a moment that has great odds against it but it happened for YOU! Their parents had to do that same thing in order to create them so that your parents could then create you and this goes on and on back as far as a single celled organism. YOU are spectacular and powerful and gorgeous just because YOU are unique. YOU are one of a kind, a treasure to be admired and loved.
I also read a book a long time ago at one of my redefining stages in my life and it was by a woman called SARK. It is called "the Wild Succulent Woman" and it changed my life and helped me to redefine ME! I stopped waiting for other people to make my life happen for me. I stopped blaming others for my unhappiness and I started giving myself what I needed to be happy. I recently have begun doing this again. I am now happily married and when that happened I began really focusing on making sure my desires and needs matched my husbands. 18 years in and I started to feel a bit sad and it did not make sense to me and then I realized that I was not doing some of the things that make me happy because they don't make him happy. I started second guessing my actions and then got angry because I missed the opportunity to do something because I left it in his hands. Now, don't get me wrong, my husband is the love of my life and he will ALWAYS be that but I know that in order for me to be truly happy it can not stem from him. It must stem from me and reflect onto him and visa versa. It is easy to get lost in someone but it is not a good thing to do.
So lately I have been redefining me again and I am feeling happier and healthier and my husband is also reaping the benefits of this even though we do things differently more often. For instance, he drives to work and I walk even though we work in the same building together. This makes us both happier. I love my morning walks and exercise. I feel more alive when I do these things and that makes me a happier person. I was afraid to start up again with my walking and workouts. I was afraid because I thought what if I don't make my goals yet again. Then I realized the flaw in that way of thinking because of the program I watched yesterday "Miracle" or the movie I watched the day before "Brain On Fire". The goal should not be 3 moths from now because a lot can change in that amount of time. The goal should be today, each minute and living within it. That is a very difficult thing to do but I am redefining me and trying to make myself remain happy and build on that happiness. So I am not going to think about three moths from now, I am going to decided to do a bit of exercise and then if it is too much I will stop or walk to work and just look at the birds and trees and say hello to passers by and take in the moments that will define me!
Knowing that there is only one me and that my goals are right in the next moment in front of me is making things a lot easier. I feel happy that I made it to that next moment. I feel happy that I am reaching all my goals because I am making my goals achievable. I am immersing myself in the here and now and allowing myself to really see and enjoy the journey. I can never fail in this aspect. I have actually tried to live my life this way but occasionally I get wrapped up in the subliminal messages from the news and papers and magazines and the billboards that I pass by on my walks. But I have managed to find my way back and I am going to keep on going... just like my grandmother said to me when I was a young girl... I just keep on getting back up and dusting myself off and climbing up out of that hole.
I am a SUPER HERO! I am ONE OF A KIND! I am a MIRACLE!
Go to a mirror and every morning from now until infinity I want you to say those words to yourself! LOUDLY, PROUDLY and with CONVICTION! Look into your own eyes and say those words!!! MEAN THEM and one day you will BELIEVE them because they are true!