Scream Queen


Are you looking at the title of this Memoirs and thinking I lost track of what I am supposed to be writing about; my personal stories?

In fact, I have not.

I have an aunt that I grew up very close to. She was like a big sister to me. She is the last born of my grandmother's children on my Dad's side. I am the first born grandchild so it makes sense that we were very close while I was a young child. Then we moved to Edmonton and so did she and then she moved back to Etobicoke and I to Calgary. When I moved back to Ontario, after high school, I moved in with my grandmother and she was living there too. We spent a lot of time together and had a lot of laughs together too. Actually both the oldest daughter of my grandmother and the youngest lived in my grandmother's house along with my grandfather and I. I remember these times very fondly.


At some point my aunt and a friend of hers, one of the Gilkinson girls, were taking horseback riding lessons and decided to let me take some lessons with them as well. It was an equestrian riding class and although I knew how to ride western, this English style was all new to me.

We all had a wonderful day of riding, or at least I thought we had enjoyed our afternoon of riding. I was sitting in the back seat of the car and as my aunts little rust heap of a car had pretty high backed front seats, I could not see out of the windows. Liz was sitting next to my aunt who was driving and they were finishing up their conversation as we were now stopped in front of her house to drop her off. Then we would head home ourselves which was only a few blocks away.

I was tired and couldn't wait to get home. I must have been day dreaming when it all happened.

Before I continue, my aunt truly missed her calling! Not only is she an incredible singer with the voice of an angel but she can scream like a queen! She could have made herself millions if they had recorded and sold her screams for the horror movie industry. I on the other hand... can not scream. I think she got all of mine too which makes hers double good!



We were so close to home I had not even considered getting out of the car and moving to the front seat. I just stayed in the back where I had been the entire trip home. As I mentioned, I was really tired. It is amazing how much work riding a horse is.

Liz had gotten out of the car and closed her door and my aunt had begun to head home. We truly were almost there, so my time in the car was almost over and I was so happy to be getting home when suddenly, my aunt, from the drivers seat, let out a scream that was worthy of the best horror film your mind can imagine! "Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

BLOOD CURDLING!

I can't see a friggin thing from the back seat! I truly thought this was the end of my life as I knew it. I thought we were about to get hit by a mac truck or something like it. I was so frightened all I could do was cry. Silently!

Have you ever been scared into silence? The tears were just streaming down my face and not a single sound was coming out of me. She stole any noise that might have escaped and wrapped it up with a bow on top when she opened the box and let out that scream!

Once the scream was completed, I heard her say "No. That didn't help at all."

I was in shock. What in the actual F**K had just happened. She turned around to see me sitting in the back seat, tears streaming down my face and actually said, I shit you not, "What's wrong?"

What's wrong? What's wrong? You just screamed like we were about to die, I thought.

I lost it! "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT'S WRONG??? YOU just screamed like we were going to die. What the hell is wrong with you? WHY would you do that? What is wrong with you? What happened? Why did you scream like that?" the questions were just spuing out of my mouth like lava from a volcano.

My aunt was stunned. She said "I said I wonder if screaming would help, before I screamed?"

"At what decibel did you say that? Not as flipping loud as you screamed because I never heard that at all" I said. I thought we were going to DIE!

And I don't think I have ever heard her scream again. Not ever.

Later that summer her Karma returned ... stay tuned for that Memoirs of a Hairdresser on a Monday in the future.

Until next Monday

May you speak clearly and loud enough for others to hear when you have something that needs to be said and heard.

May you not ever scream in a car unless you are about to hit something or trying to avoid hitting something.

May you stay safe

Wash your hands often and don't touch your face

May you wake up with a smile on your heart and may you be blessed to remember that ever day's a bonus


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